You think I'm joking, but you just wait. 

I don't know what you were doing in college, but I can assure you that I was not creating a company, building emerging technology, or inventing anything that required a patent. (I did once help some guy friends build a potato gun that would reach across the courtyard to the apartment door of their arch-rivals, but I don't think that was patentable ... nor, in retrospect, was it actually all that intelligent to do.)